I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
