There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
