i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
