singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
