Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
