no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
