Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
