Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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