Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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