Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
