Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
