There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
