is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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