I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
