why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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