dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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