do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
