I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
