I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So vagazzling was a success
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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