when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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