Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
