and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So squirting runs in the family.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
