I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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