And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
