Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
