im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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