Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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