Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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