Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Come on in and take your pants off
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