There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
