I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
