just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
