I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
