She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
