Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
last night I used snow as a chaser
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
