you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
