You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
