Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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