HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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