are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
