Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
