pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
