Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she looked like the before picture.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
