So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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