Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
