You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
