that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Who died my cat blue again?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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