CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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