he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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