Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
